After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
