u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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