Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
