dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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