he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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