I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
