where are you?
Hypothermia
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
