Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
