I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
