I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
