I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
