Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
