why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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