Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
