I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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