Got a toothbrush?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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