what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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