My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
