Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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