dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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