My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
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