when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
