and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
