my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
