he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Even the bartender felt bad for me
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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