I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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