are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He felt like a one man threesome
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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