mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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