my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
