I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Randomize
