I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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