No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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