so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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