If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
