So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
