Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
