the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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