It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
