well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
