omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I think my fart just growled at me.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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