I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize