I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
