my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
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