her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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