better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
