he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
