Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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