i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
