Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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