He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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