in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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