You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
