I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
