wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
