I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
