Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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