your room smells of hookers.
And success
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
