is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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