not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
