Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Blood and glitter go together right?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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