Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
