Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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