Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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