New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
