your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
