Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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