The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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