you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
