ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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