I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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