brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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