May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
