I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
