You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize