Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
