yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
