his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize