I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
It's Friday. Sex?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
