I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
