He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Send help, water and tortillas.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
