Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
